Don't Worry, Be Happy

We’re all familiar with the song Don’t Worry, Be Happy. We may have even quoted it a time or two. But when it comes to kids and worry – sometimes that statement is easier said than done.

Sure, kids don’t have bills to pay, elderly parents to care for or jobs that stress them out. But, just like us, they have their share of daily demands. They have grades to think about and tests to take. They have problems with friends and concerns about extracurricular activities. They also may be dealing with cliques, peer pressure or even bullies. So it’s not surprising that kids can begin to worry. It is especially common for kids between the ages of 8 and 13.

And while it is natural for all kids to worry at times, too much worry or not handling it appropriately can impact children in a number of different ways. In extreme cases, worry can impact sleep, eating and school performance.

This is where parents come in. If we can help our kids address their worry in practical ways, kids can learn to tackle everyday problems with ease. Here are some ideas if your child is struggling with anxiety or worry.

Be a good role model
Think about how you react to stress. Do you fret? Do you lose your temper or do you take some time away? Do you go for a walk or do you grab a chocolate bar? Children often imitate the actions of their parents, so if you are concerned about what you are seeing in your kids – the first change may need to take place in you. For me, it seems I am doing more changing than my kids are!

Talk with your children about their concerns
For many kids, talking with their parents provides information, comfort and security. It also keeps kids from feeling alone or isolated because they know have a trusted person they can talk to. Additionally, expressing worries helps kids relieve tension so as parents we need to be sure not to minimize their worries or tell them they are being silly. Their worries are real and they need our help. One way to help them is by listening and then by praying with them.

Tell your child the truth about family issues
Our children see and hear more than we may realize. As a result, it is important that we give them honest and simple accounts of stressful events. When kids don’t receive an explanation, they may make up one of their own. Remember, the goal is to reduce stress so explanations should be simple and age-appropriate.

Help your child learn to solve problems
Because our children will face stress and worries of various types throughout life, it is important that we provide them with the tools they need. For instance, if your daughter is afraid to ride the school bus, ask her to make a list of all the things that bother her. Then talk about ways to solve these issues or how to get more information. This exercise will help her develop confidence in her ability to find a solution.

Provide outlets for stress and worry
Just like adults, children need an outlet for their stress. For some kids, this might be running up and down a basketball court while other kids may find painting or journaling useful. Encourage your kids to find an outlet for their stress and even better join them when you can.

Give lots of hugs and kisses
During stressful times, kids need even more affection and encouragement. So be sure to be generous! And finally remember don’t worry when your kids get stressed. Be happy you have this opportunity to help them.