To Censor or Not?

Today is Read Across America day. A day when schools, teachers and parents encourage kids to read. Fortunately for me, both my kids enjoy reading. So getting them to read is not the issue. The problem I face is a more complicated one. Now that my daughter is on the cusp of middle school, I am more concerned with "what" she is reading than "if" or "when" she is reading.

To give you an example, a recent trip to Barnes and Noble comes to mind. My daughter picked up a book with "butt" in the title. (The actual title was "The Day My Butt Went Psycho!" which given who the author is, I am sure is a fine book.) Immediately, I frowned and asked "can't you find something a little less offensive?" She giggled, liking the fact that I was put off by it. She even read the inside flap that said parents and teachers would not understand this book. (I guess I really didn't. Sort of reminded me of this book my husband's friend wrote called -- "Poop Phonics.") I frowned and thought to myself I am NOT going to buy that book! This resulted in a mad search around the store pointing to a dozen other options ... What about this book by Margaret Peterson Haddix? You haven't read "Lynn Visible" yet by my friend Julie DeVillers! Or what about this one by Beverly Cleary...No. No. No. Came the answers.

Finally, a light bulb went on. I suggested we grab a chair by the Thomas the Train table (so her brother could play) and that she read the first chapter. Afterwards, I asked if the book was really as good as she thought it would be. (I prayed of course that it would be horrible. I was not buying the "butt" book! Not today anyway. Although I have to admit that is a catchy title.)

Fortunately for me, she said the book "wasn't what she was looking for" and she started on a search again for just the right book. Again, I thought it was my duty to make suggestions. After all, I was paying! But the more I suggested, the more she was determined to find her own book. Finally, I gave up. Eventually, (and what seemed like hours later) she selected a very suitable book titled "Eleven" by Lynn Myracle.

As we made our way to the check out, my daughter was already entrenched in her new book. The woman checking us out chuckled to herself when I had to wrestle the book from her hands to pay for it. She hasn't put it down since. And she has even asked if she can read the next books in the series "Twelve," "Thirteen" and "Thirteen Plus One." Phew! No more mention of the "butt" book. (Although I am still thinking about it! What does it mean for a butt to go psycho?) Anyway...

That night as we all sat reading our new "finds," several thoughts occurred to me and I'd like to share them with you...


1.) It's important to teach my kids to be critical consumers. I realized it was good to let her "test" the book out and make her own decision. That carried a lot more weight with her than if I had simply said "no." She made the decision that it really didn't fit what she was looking for-- not me. And I think that goes a long way. Teaching a child how to evaluate a book and determine if it fits with their interests, values and beliefs is much more valuable than simply censoring them or forbidding it.

I think this applies even with books they do read. Down the road, if my daughter can read a book and tell me why she liked it, why she didn't like it, why it offended her or why she can't wait to read the next in the series -- that is a lot more important to me in the long run. The way I see it is this ... Eventually, my kids are going to be out of my home and engaging with the world. If my husband and I teach them now how to evaluate books (and media and messages), then we are preparing them for when they leave the nest. We don't want them to be blind consumers. We want them to make decisions about what they are taking in and be able to talk about why they do or don't like something. If we simply censor them, are we really preparing them for the future?


2.) It's important to allow some freedom when it comes to choosing books. I have learned my kids are much more excited about reading when I give them the freedom to choose their own books. Then, getting them to read is not the issue. Doing so also helps me. I can learn a little bit more about them. I know what they like and dislike, what interests them and from there I can find books that are similar in style. It also gives me a peek inside their heads. What issues are they interested in learning more about? What types of themes are present in the books they select?


3.) It's important to still be the parent. In all honesty, I probably dodged a bullet when my daughter chose against the "butt" book. Because if she had insisted it really was good, I would have been forced to read the first chapter and determine if it really was appropriate for her to read. (I was only basing my decision on the title, which is not fair to any book or author.) Still, she is only 10 and still needs a parent to guide her. Unfortunately, there are times when we simply have to say "not now" to some books. The language or the subject may just be too mature for them. But I think the key is not that we simply censor the book, but that we give an explanation as to why the book is inappropriate at this point in their lives. Our kids may or may not accept our explanation. But that's OK. We still have to be the parent.